


Begin Again

by Kidhuzural



Category: Supernatural
Genre: (not between Sam and Dean), Alpha Sam Winchester, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awesome Bobby Singer, Depression, M/M, Omega Dean Winchester, Past Miscarriage, Past Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:35:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22165747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kidhuzural/pseuds/Kidhuzural
Summary: Sam receives an urgent call in the middle of the night.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Comments: 3
Kudos: 94





	Begin Again

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 12 Days of Wincestmas. :)

The incessant ring of his phone dragged Sam out of his sleep. He groaned, answering the phone without looking who it was – he was far too exhausted to think right now, so better get this over with so he can go back to sleep.

“Yeah?” The was a sigh on the other side, and a voice Sam didn’t recognize.

“You’re impossible to track down, y’know that?” Sam frowned, finally looking at his phone to see who it was that was calling.

“I’m sorry, I think you have the wrong number.” Sam was ready to hang up when he heard his name.

“Sam.” Another sigh. “This is Bobby. I dunno if you remember me, but you and your brother used to hang around sometimes when your father went hunting.” At that, Sam was wide awake. He sat on his bed, heart suddenly beating wildly.

“What is it? Is dad okay?”

“Yeah, your dad is fine. It’s Dean, actually.” Sam’s heart plummeted. It was hard enough to think that something might have happened to John, but to Dean? Sam was in alert, nervousness overflowing. “Look. I don’t think this is a nice thing to talk about over the phone. Can you make the trip to South Dakota? Dean’s here and I’m taking care of him, but I think it would be best if you were here.”

“I’ll go now, get on the first plane. But – is Dean okay?” Sam was already up, getting a bag ready for a plane trip, not caring if he had enough clothes – he did manage to change clothes before leaving the house though.

“Physically, yes.” Sam frowned at that, and Bobby hesitated. “I’ll explain everything when you get here.” Sam was frantic, unable to think straight. What could have happened to Dean that he was in one of his father’s friend’s house instead with John – or even with Sam. Sam would have dropped everything for Dean, if his brother had been in trouble.

Sam took a cab to the airport, and he bought a ticket for the next flight to South Dakota. Bobby had sent him a text with the address, so once Sam got there, he could get another cab to Bobby’s.

The whole five hours of flight did nothing to cease Sam’s anxiousness. He bit his fingers raw in an attempt to calm down, but it was useless. When the plane finally landed, he was one of the first to get out, and he all but ran to get a cab to Bobby’s place. Bobby lived another hour away from the airport, but at least Bobby knew he was on the way. Apparently, Dean had no idea Bobby had reached Sam and that Sam was coming all the way from California to take care of him.

When he finally arrived, just a little after ten in the morning, Bobby was waiting for him at the door.

“Dean’s still asleep. Most days he only gets out of the room after two in the afternoon.” Bobby explained. Sam didn’t even have to time to realise that he didn’t remember Bobby – as long as his brother was safe, he didn’t care who Bobby was.

“Can I--?” Sam started, but Bobby was already nodding.

“If he doesn’t tell you what happened, I’ll tell you later.” Sam nodded and, leaving his things on the living room, he went to the room Dean was sleeping in.

The room was dark, but the sweet smell of his brother was prominent, and Sam knew that this was Dean. However, there was something off about his smell, and Sam wondered if it was more of an emotional thing or something else. Sam walked to the bed, but before he could sit, Dean was already pointing a gun at him.

“Woah, Dean! It’s me!” Dean was still half asleep, and he frowned, blinking the sleep away.

“Sammy?” Sam nodded.

“Yeah.” Dean lowered the gun slowly, still frowning.

“What… What are you doing here?” Dean asked, putting the fun away.

“Bobby called.” Dean stiffened, so Sam sat by his side, trying to soothe him. “It’s okay. I was worried about you.” His words and proximity didn’t help ease Dean’s nerves. “What happened?” Dean averted his gaze, unwilling to share. Sam sighed and slumped his shoulders. “Dean, please.”

“Sam, leave it.” Dean said, pushing Sam out of the way so he could get up. Sam stood up, but didn’t try to stop his brother.

“Dean. Apparently Bobby knows. Right?” Dean stopped, still avoiding Sam’s eyes and not replying. “I’ll ask him if you don’t want to tell me. But I’d rather I was told by you.” Dean’s shoulders slumped and he brought a hand to his face, breathing harshly. Sam walked to Dean and, without hesitation, pulled him for a hug. Dean didn’t fight him.

“I…” Dean started, and Sam was shocked to hear his brother’s voice cracking up, as if he was about to cry. “I had a miscarriage.” That short sentence almost drove Sam insane. What did Dean mean by having a miscarriage? Sam could scent that Dean wasn’t mated to anyone, he hadn’t bonded to anyone, and Dean had always being very vocal about not being suited for being a parent – not to mention that in their lives, it was far too dangerous to have a child, and Sam agreed that bringing a child into the mess of their lives would be selfish and cruel.

So that made no sense to Sam whatsoever. He could only tighten the hug, for once being the one holding Dean, and not the other way around.

“What… How… Who…” Sam didn’t know what to ask, and Dean shook his head, and Sam honestly considered letting the topic go, but to his surprise, Dean actually explained what had happened.

“Dad had been in a hunting trip for a couple of weeks, and Jerry – remember him?” Sam nodded, remembering the name, not really his face. He knew Jerry was one of dad’s hunter friends, and that was about it. “Well, he… He was trying to reach dad to help with a hunt, but dad was MIA and he ended up contacting me, so I went there to help.”

Sam could already see what had happened, and he closed his eyes tightly to avoid crying – he needed to be strong for Dean now, crying wouldn’t help any of them.

“He forcibly triggered my heat after I had denied having sex with him.” Sam was surprised that Dean wasn’t crying – or even angry – as he told the story. Sam, on the other hand, was ready to kill Jerry. “Two months later I found out I…” At that, Dean’s voice broke, and Sam understood. Dean couldn’t care less about being raped – that he could deal with. But losing a loved one? Mainly one he was growing himself inside of him? That was devastating. “I tried contacting you when I found out. I had no idea what to do. I didn’t wanna tell dad. But you were busy at school and… I didn’t want you to worry.”

“Dean. You’re my brother. I’d have dropped everything if you’d asked, if I knew what you were going through.” At that, Dean pushed him, and Sam, being the younger brother, let go of his brother, unable to hold Sam down.

“I did ask. You forgot? I called you over ten times before you finally picked up, and when you did, you barely talked to me. I know I’ve made your life difficult, and… You were finally free of this life, of this job. And I was just going to screw your life up again.” Sam did feel like crying. How could he have turned his back on his brother? Dean had always done everything in his power to make sure Sam had an amazing life, and in Dean’s moment of need, Sam wasn’t there.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” Dean shook his head, bringing his hand to his face again, rubbing it harshly before looking back at Dean.

“I don’t blame you. And after much thinking, I had decided to just settle down and raise my child. I’d’ve let you and dad living your own lives. But then…” Dean averted his eyes once more, and Sam got closer, a bit hesitantly. But when Dean didn’t push him away, Sam hugged him again. “I was seven months pregnant when I gave birth.” At that, Sam could feel something wet on his chest, and he knew Dean was unable to hold back the tears. “She was already dead. They said her death was what caused me to go into labour early and…” Sam tightened the hug again and Dean just let himself cry. “I was going to call her Samantha. I lost her. _I lost her_.” At that, Dean’s whole body grew heavy and Sam had to hold his brother so he wouldn’t fall to the ground.

“Dean…” Sam said, hearing his brother sob, feeling Dean’s hand hold him tightly, probably tight enough to bruise, but Sam didn’t care.

“Sammy.” Sam at first thought he was being called, but a moment later, he realised Dean was calling his daughter’s name. “Sammy, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. I failed you. I’m a failure. I’m so sorry.” Sam managed to sit on the bed with Dean, holding him tightly.

“It’s not your fault, Dean. Things like this happen. It’s… unfortunate. But it’s not impossible, and it doesn’t mean it’s your fault.” Dean continued crying, though, and Sam had no idea what to o in this case. Dean’s distress, sadness and hatred were overwhelming, and Sam couldn’t think straight.

“Scent him.” Sam’s head snapped to the door, and there Bobby was, looking as upset as Sam felt. “You’re an Alpha he trusts. Scent him and let him scent you. It’ll calm him down.” Sam nodded, and Bobby left, closing the door behind himself. Sam moved Dean around, enough to be able to nose at Dean’s neck. Dean, unconsciously, started doing the same, still sobbing.

Sam’s shirt was getting wet all over due to Dean’s desperate crying, but if he was honest, Dean’s shirt was getting as wet as Sam’s.

Sam couldn’t even start to fathom how hard this must be to Dean. Sam was heartbroken for his brother, but aside from being there for him and calming him down, there wasn’t much more Sam could do to help.

Some long minutes later, Dean’s cries subsided. Sam continued scenting him, stroking his back and head as softly as he could, and Dean was holding him tight while scenting him back.

“Wanna eat something?” Sam asked when he noticed Dean stopped crying, but his brother only shook his head.

“Let’s stay like this a little more.” Sam didn’t need to be asked twice. Now, he wouldn’t fail his brother like he did before. From now on, Sam wouldn’t leave Dean’s side.

“Does dad know?” Sam asked Bobby when he made his way to the kitchen. Dean had fallen asleep, his expression still pained, and Sam needed more answers.

“Yeah. He dealt with Jerry.” At Sam’s alarmed expression, Bobby continued. “He didn’t kill him. But he made sure Jerry went to jail.”

“Why isn’t he here? I mean, I’m glad you contacted me, I’ll take care of Dean. But shouldn’t dad be the one taking care of Dean?” Bobby sighed and Sam realised he agreed with his point of view, even though it was a lost cause.

“He can’t face Dean. He blames himself for what happened. He left Dean here so I could take care of him, but not only am I a Beta, but I’m also not blood. And, I mean… Dean has been… okay. But he ain’t getting better. I hoped that with you he’d finally have some closure.” Sam nodded, sitting down by the table. Bobby gave him a beer and sat next to him. They remained in silence for a moment, Sam still trying to wrap his head around all of this.

“He said he was going to call his daughter Samantha.” Sam mentioned, frowning.

“Yeah. He told me that, since he was planning on cutting both you and your dad from his life, he at least wanted a piece of you. Samantha, Sammy, Sam. It wasn’t a hard choice for him.” Sam nodded, drinking some of the beer. He felt exhausted, but he knew he would be able to fall asleep, even if he tried.

“Is it okay if I stick around? Just until Dean feels better. Then we… Then I’ll find us a place and—” Bobby interrupted him.

“Son, you two are welcome here any time. You can stay for as long as you want. For as long as the two of you need.” Sam nodded, feeling tears in his eyes once more. He drank more beer. Still lost in thought, Sam barely noticed the plate of scrambled eggs Bobby put in front of him. “Eat it. You’ve been up since that time I woke you up, and you haven’t eaten properly.” Sam nodded and ate – slowly, his stomach still in knots after everything he’d heard that day.

After eating, Sam went back to Dean’s room. This time, Dean didn’t wake up. Probably the scenting helped Dean feel at ease with an Alpha smell at close quarters. Sam decided to lie down next to Dean and sleep, at least a little. He held Dean, much like Dean had always held him when they were young, and managed to fall asleep.

He woke up much later with a hand threading through his hair. He blinked a couple of times before noticing it was Dean who had been stroking his hair. Dean gave him a soft smile before messing with his hair and letting go.

“Your hair is too long. It needs a trim.” Sam pouted, but his heart wasn’t in it. He just tugged Dean closer, nosing at his neck again, scenting him once more. Dean froze at first, but then he let himself relax before doing the same with Sam.

“I like it like that.” Sam said, his voice still sleepy. Sam realised Dean’s smell was less apprehensive, less sad. There was still a lingering sadness there, but maybe Bobby had been right – Sam being near, scenting him, protecting him in this moment, might have helped Dean feel slightly better.

Almost a month had passed since Sam arrived at Bobby’s, and while Dean still refused to talk about his failed pregnancy, his daughter, or anything that had happened, he did seem lighter, happier. There was still some sadness in him, Sam could feel. But most days his brother seemed better, almost felt like he had been before all that happened.

They never talked about it, but Sam continued sleeping with Dean in his tiny bed, the two of them scenting each other before sleeping and then again when they woke up. Bobby never mentioned anything either, but Sam caught him smiling often enough to notice that he was relived in seeing Dean be himself again.

It was in the middle of an afternoon, almost a month later, that Sam knew he should probably leave.

Dean was about to start his heat.

Dean probably didn’t notice – he had been working at the cars in the morning, but he had felt a bit odd after lunch and decided to do some studying on Bobby’s many books. Sam, on the other hand, had noticed as soon as Dean had gotten back from the yard, his sweat smelling strongly of the heat that was to come, and Sam felt an urge he had never felt before, with anyone – and thus, he knew he had to leave.

He prepared a small bag to spend a few days on a hotel near Bobby’s house – but far enough that he wouldn’t feel like touching Dean, claiming him, bonding with him. After all, they were brothers. All the other times Dean had gone in the heat in the past, when Sam had already popped his knot, he had never felt the need to sleep with his brother. In fact, he would barely be affected at all. If anything, he’d just feel a little horny, but nothing impossible to deal with.

But now, the sight of Dean was enough to drive Sam insane with lust.

As he was leaving, though, Dean went to him, frown in place.

“Where are you going?” Sam felt the fear and anxiety in his brother, and he hated himself for doing this.

“Dean…” Sam started, unable on how to tell his brother that he wanted to do things to him that no sibling should. “Your heat… It’s…” At that, Dean’s fear deepened, and Sam could see in his brother’s eyes a desperation forming. “Dean…” Sam tried again.

“Don’t.” Dean said, holding Sam’s arm tightly, looking at his brother with such intense fear that Sam knew he’d be unable to leave.

“But, Dean… I…” To explain better, Sam got closer and tilted his neck. Dean hesitated for a moment, but then he got closer, scenting Sam’s neck. When he put some space between them again, Sam was sure that Dean would accept that he left, but instead, Dean was blushing, his eyes unfocused.

“Stay.” Dean said, pulling Sam closer, scenting him again and, in the process, making Sam scent him back. Smelling the arousal in his brother was all it took for Sam to hold him close and start mouthing at Dean’s neck. Dean gave a soft moan, his body growing heavy. Sam could feel both of their erections against each other, and he knew that he needed to take them to their room quickly.

Thankfully enough, Bobby had been working on some cars outside, and probably had no idea of what was going on. Sam closed the door of their little room, still fighting against his urges of claiming his brother.

Dean, on the other hand, was far beyond himself. Once the door was closed, Dean jumped Sam, kissing him on the lips, with tongue and all. And it was so overwhelming that Sam’s instinct was to kiss back just as intensely. They took off their clothes quickly, and at the sight of Dean’s bowlegs wet from his heat Sam lost all self-control. Not that Dean minded. In fact, he moaned and whined as Sam kissed him, and then his neck, sucking at the gland that, if Sam bit down, would make them mates for life.

Somehow, they managed to fall on the bed, and Dean was already begging Sam for his cock, but Sam, although completely beyond himself, still wanted to make sure he wouldn’t hurt his brother.

He brought his fingers to Dean’s hole, and, sure enough, one finger entered without any restrain. Dean moaned, opening his legs even more, eyes never leaving Sam’s. Sam put another finger and, although it was tighter, it still went in easily. After the third finger, Sam knew that Dean would be able to take anything he gave him.

Sam entered Dean – slowly, still worried he might hurt his brother – and he grunted at how good this felt. He had never had sex during an Omega’s heat, but from what he heard, it was natural to feel this good. Yet, it shocked Sam how good it actually was. Was it because they were brothers, and, therefore, were compatible?

“C’mon, Sammy.” Dean whined, locking his legs around Sam and forcing him even deeper. Dean moaned, closing his eyes for a moment, but then opening them again with a smile. “Fuck me.” Sam didn’t need to be told twice.

He started moving his hips rhythmically, but Dean’s whines grew louder, and Sam knew that he’d have to fuck Dean hard if he wanted to quench Dean’s heat. With renewed vigour, Sam started pounding into Dean. His moans of pleasure were loud, but clearly positive. Sam, himself, felt a little bubbly, and he couldn’t help the smile on his face. Dean had a matching one on his own face.

Even though the sex was amazing, Dean’s smell intoxicating, their will to stop nowhere to be found, Sam was finally feeling more in control. The thought that this was Dean, his brother, that he was fucking, didn’t cross his mind, though. Only that this was exactly how it should be, that he wanted to make Dean happy, claim him and mate with him.

In that moment, nothing else made as much sense as that. Claiming Dean made all the sense in the world. Even though they would never be able to tell others they were brothers, they would finally be able to settle down, have children and live peacefully. They knew of monsters, and if they came to them, they’d be able to protect themselves, but they could retire from hunting, maybe find a regular job, have a house with a white-picket fence.

It was with all those thoughts in mind that, when Sam came, his knot tying him and Dean together, he bit at Dean’s neck, right at his gland, claiming him.

That was enough to make Dean come as well, moaning loudly.

Sam licked at the bite mark on Dean’s neck, lapping softly at it, and he saw that Dean had finally closed his eyes, breathing harshly. The smile, however, never left Dean’s face. He looked content, happy. And his smell, still thick with arousal, had some happiness in it as well.

For the first time, Dean forgot about his sadness, about what had happened. Even if just this moment, Sam felt glad that he managed to help his brother.

Dean’s heat was over three days later. Bobby had left a note saying that he’d go to a neighbouring town to hunt some vamps and would be back in a week or so. Sam and Dean didn’t actually talk about their situation, about being mated. It just happened, and it felt natural, even after the heat was over and they could think for themselves.

Dean’s sadness would come and go – ever so often he’d remember Samantha and would get upset. But it wasn’t as overwhelming as before. He was learning to cope – slowly, but surely. Their bond helped, of course, and whenever Dean was feeling particularly bad, Sam would spend most of his time with Dean, scenting him, hugging him.

It was a couple of months later that they had a surprise: Dean had gotten pregnant again.

Sam was exhilarated – growing up, the idea of having children of his own was alien to him, but ever since he bonded with Dean, his desire for having a child grew with each passing day. Dean, on the other hand, had a severe panic attack.

Sam managed to take him to a clinic, and after Dean told the story of his last pregnancy to the doctor – with both Dean and Sam crying – the doctor promised to make everything in his power to deliver the baby safely. As long as Dean periodically went to the clinic, made exams and took care of his health, the doctor was sure the pregnancy would go smoothly.

Seven months later, their daughter was born. They decided to name her Dinah – since Dean’s first daughter had a name similar to Sam’s, Sam wanted similar to Dean’s, and they decided on that name because it was short, simple and in Sam’s case, he had liked the meaning of it. _God has judged_. Obviously, he hadn’t told Dean what her name meant, because he knew Dean didn’t believe in God and would probably complain about the meaning, but for Sam, that was important.

Even though they were brothers, they managed to create a life together – a healthy, chubby baby girl with Dean’s green eyes and blonde hair, and Sam’s eye shape and dimples. For Sam, that meant that if God existed, he approved of their union and of the life they had created.

Sam and Dean moved to a new house before Dinah was born, but still near Bobby’s, who had been more present in their lives than John, who had called only once or twice and had no idea his sons had mated.

Finally, Dean found peace. He would still get upset, mainly on the day of Samantha’s birth/death, but Sam and Dinah were there to bring happiness into his life once again.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are love ♥


End file.
